the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
