Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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