I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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