she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
