I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
