so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
