feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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