i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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