We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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