I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
