I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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