Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just threw up on my dentist
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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