The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
