even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
