remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
