the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
