"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Randomize
