My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
