You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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