yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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