I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
