i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
he was CRYING into my vagina
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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