That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
