dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
