Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
