you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I am one with the molecules
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
