I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
