btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
