You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
