Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
