I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I wear drunk well.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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