I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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