so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
