areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
