Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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