i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
