I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
