I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
