Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
