Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
