Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
