the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
