The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
