He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
