Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
