that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
