Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
