it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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