Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
