Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
